Wicked Little Town: The Outsider
by slytherincrush
Summary: Be witness to Tommy Gnosis' destruction: who is there for him when he is outed as a fraud and he loses everything? As Hedwig rises to the fame that is rightly hers, how can Tommy be forgiven when he cannot even forgive himself? Who picks up the pieces?
1. Chapter 1

"Wow. You look…um…really…_Jesus_, Tommy." Megan shook her head in disbelief as she took in her childhood friend's appearance. She could hardly recognize him. But there was that familiar grin, breaking through the make-up and stringy black hair hanging in his face. His eyes shone clearly through his clumpy mascara-clogged lashes as he approached her, his hand reaching for hers. And again, Megan felt it: the hurt, the stab of pain that she had always felt, just by being near him. It took all her strength not to crumple on the spot.

As he pulled her into a hug and she leaned against him, inhaling deeply, her lips trembling against his neck, she fought back tears. _Tommy Gnosis._ She had known all along that he was special, that he would be one of those people who made it. _Not like the rest of us who are destined to lead boring, clumsy lives, _Megan thought with a sigh.

Over the past few months, while she had been at school, she had followed his career with a mixture of obsession and sadness. When she had first seen him on MTV, his video for Tear Me Down, she had just about had a heart attack. She had been in the rec room of her freshman dormitory. And all the girls around her had been commenting on the amazing breakout star, Tommy Gnosis. She hadn't said a word to acknowledge that she had spent every summer from the age of 11 to 15 camping with him in her backyard, had gone to the movies with him every single Thanksgiving night for years, their own tradition. That he had been the first boy she had ever kissed...

The last time she had spoken to him before she left for school was in church the summer before. He was playing his guitar at the Christian Youth Group mass. That had been her last weekend in town. He'd said hi to her as she was leaving with her parents and she had nodded at him indifferently, forcing herself not to confess her undying love for him, instead just walking by as if he were the last thing on her mind.

She hadn't even said goodbye to him before she had left for college. She had decided at the last minute not to go to State, since her scholarship for the Theatre Arts Academy had come through. She hadn't bothered to tell Tommy she was going to school out of state. _He wouldn't care anyways_, she had told herself bitterly as she had packed her trunk the night before she left, all the while hoping desperately that he would stop by or call. But he never did.

And now here he was, hardly recognizable, looking like when they had dressed up as punk rockers for Halloween in the eigth grade. She pulled back to look at him critically.

Tommy laughed at Megan's expression, his blue eyes twinkling. _That same laugh,_ Megan thought, feeling another tiny stab through her heart, _those same eyes_. Her stomach again filled with those familiar butterflies that Tommy had always caused without even trying, without even knowing. _Damn you_, Tommy, she thought, suddenly not at all sure if this meeting had been such a great idea.

"What's the matter? Aren't you glad to see me?" he asked, still grinning at her, pulling her over to sit on the sofa with him. She looked back at him helplessly, suddenly at a loss for words.

"Well…of course I'm glad to see you. What…what made you call me?" she asked, swallowing nervously as he edged closer to her. She glanced around his apartment, smiling to see that he was still a slob. One thing they had always had in common.

Tommy reached over and brushed a lock of her dark hair out of her face. Megan's brown eyes widened as she inched away from him slightly. "I ran into your mom at the mall," he said, looking at her searchingly. "She told me you were home for the summer, and I asked her if it would be ok to call you. To be honest she looked a little scared of me, but she told me I should definitely call you and she invited me to dinner this weekend." Megan smiled at him sadly. _Mom knows_, she thought. _She never gave up on me and Tommy. That's something we always had in common. _

"Well wasn't that nice of her," Megan said sarcastically. "Still trying to meddle in my life." Tommy smiled at her. She looked down. "Well, I like your music. You really made it big, huh?" she mumbled, sneaking a look at him. "The songwriting…it's incredible, Tommy. I've never heard such beautiful songs before. Did you really write all those by yourself?" For some reason, Tommy looked a bit ill suddenly.

"I…of course I did. What…what do you mean?" he said nervously. "Yes, I wrote them. Why, did you hear differently?" Megan stared at him.

"No, no of course not. I just…anyway, are you…are you doing ok? How are your parents?" Tommy's face darkened.

"How the fuck would I know? I haven't talked to them in months. My fucking father…he…" he trailed off as Megan sighed. It was always the same old story. Tommy's Dad never really accepted him: they clashed like oil and water, and his mom wasn't any help either. Megan could only imagine what was going through their minds now that their son was a rock icon.

"I'm sorry, Tommy," Megan said quietly. "I know you guys have always had a hard time with each other. I didn't mean to bring it up." Tommy stared at her intently.

"It's ok, Megan. You can tell me anything, you know," he said quietly. Megan eyed him skeptically and he smiled. "What," he said, "You don't feel like you can? I'm still the same person." He moved a bit closer to her and reached for her hand. "Don't tell me that you're gonna get all shy around me now…" He leaned forward to kiss her neck.

Megan snatched her hand away from his, standing up abruptly, feeling her face start to turn red.

"Tommy, please," she stammered, "I really should get going. I only wanted to stop by and say hi. I'll…maybe I'll see you later, alright?" Tommy stood up, looking confused.

"Aw, don't go yet, we need to catch up and stuff," he said. Megan gasped as he suddenly grabbed her and threw her down on the couch unceremoniously. He laughed as he jumped on top of her twisting her arm over her head roughly.

"Remember when we used to wrestle like this?" he said, giggling as she struggled, blushing.

"Dammit, Tommy, get the fuck off of me. We're not little kids anymore, for Christ's sake," she hissed, trying to slide out from under him. But Tommy wouldn't let her, his eyes gazing down at her piercingly. He looked down at her body beneath his and grinned at her, leaning to kiss her neck.

"Yes, I can see that you're not a little kid anymore," he murmured as Megan's heart began to beat faster, her body responding even though her brain was telling her not to.

"What the hell is your problem, Tommy?" Megan pleaded helplessly. Tommy paused to stare at her, that damned innocent look in his eyes, as if he hadn't the faintest idea what he was doing to her.

"I just missed you, that's all," he said, staring down at her appealingly. Megan closed her eyes and sighed before gazing back at him.

"Well, I missed you too. I've missed you since Sophomore year when you stopped being my friend." The sentence hung in the air and Tommy stared down at her, looking stricken.

"I…I never stopped being your friend," he murmured blankly as Megan finally succeeded in pushing him away and standing up from the couch, nervously pulling her shirt, which had ridden up, down past her jeans again.

"Listen, Tommy," Megan said as she grabbed her purse off of the coffee table and headed towards the door. "I'm glad to see you too, but you just don't understand how I feel...you just don't…" to her dismay she felt tears sting at her eyes. She wiped at them impatiently as Tommy strode over to her and took her face in his hands.

"Then explain it to me, Meg," he begged, again that look in his eyes as if he had no fucking clue how much his mere presence was hurting her, making her ache down to her toes. "How do you feel? Can't we be together now? I'm lonely, Megan, I miss you so much…I've been on the road for so long, I just want to be with a true friend…"

Megan pushed him away gently, shaking her head. "Listen, Tommy, call me later, ok? I can't…I just can't talk about it now. I'm sorry. Call me…call me later," she choked out as she opened the door quickly and shut it behind abruptly. She stood out in the apartment hallway and leaned against the door, feeling as if she were about to pass out.

_Oh, God_, Megan thought to herself as she stumbled to out to the parking lot, _and I thought it was over…after all these years I thought it was over. He hasn't changed a bit. Just make-up and hair dye, leather pants and MTV. He's still an insensitive ass who acts like a puppy dog but he's really a loaded weapon. And I'll be damned if he's gonna get to me again. _

But as she drove home, she knew it was useless. She was already re-playing in her mind how his body had felt, how his hair had smelled, how his skin had been touching hers so wonderfully…and she knew it was too late. She couldn't wait to see him again.


	2. Chapter 2

"Hedwig, listen to reason," Phillis begged, stroking Hedwig's cheek. Hedwig rolled her eyes and glanced over at Yitzhak who was moping in his chair, his headphones drowning out reality. _And on top of everything else,_ Hedwig thought dismally, _I have to deal with _his_ PMS. Good fucking God. _Hedwig slapped Phillis' hand away.

"Listen to reason? Don't insult my intelligence, Phyllis. I've never been so clear-headed. I just can't stand to see that fucking little sissy signing records and strutting around like he hasn't a care in the world, while I'm struggling just to hold my fucking head up." Hedwig waved her half-empty bottle of vodka before Phillis' face. "Look at me, Phillis: should I be drinking cheap vodka? This fucking bottle cost 3.99, Phillis." Hedwig laughed bitterly as her voice rose, her words beginning to slur. "I should be drinking champaign, for _fucking fuck's sake_…"

Yitzhak, Skszp, Jacek, Krzysztof and Schlatko all looked up, alarmed as Hedwig began another one of her famous rants, holding her vodka bottle high above her head dramatically. Her voice rose to a screech. "I want to fucking toast to Tommy Gnosis…that fucking little piece of…beautiful…fucking _beautiful_…piece…of…_shit_…" Suddenly Hedwig's face went blank, her blue eyes became empty, and Phillis gasped as Hedwig suddenly burst into tears, sinking to the hotel room floor. Phillis knelt down next to her, rubbing her back sympathetically.

"Hedwig, Hedwig, you can't do this: don't fall apart now, we've come so far," Phillis pleaded, her heart aching as Hedwig looked up at her, tears streaking through her thick make-up, her lipstick smudged, her wig now snarled and messy. "He is a piece of shit, Hedwig, you must remember that: he is the lowest form of life there is, and if you stay strong, Hedwig, if you can keep your cool, I promise you, honey, you will be so fucking rich. And this is his home town: imagine the press if it happens this weekend? Just be patient…alright? Alright, Hedwig? Hedwig?"

But Hedwig had already passed out.

It took both Phillis and Yitzhak to carry her to the bed. The band left the room quietly as Phillis covered Hedwig with a blanket and Yitzhak slumped again in his chair, slipping his headphones on with a sigh. He stared at Hedwig sprawled on the bed and shook his head. _Fucking beautiful._

_If she only knew_, Yitzhak thought, _what true beauty was: all she has to do was look in the mirror_. It killed Yitzhak whenever Hedwig spoke of Tommy. He understood her feelings more than she would ever guess. Not that she had ever really confided in him what had gone on between them, the specific events surrounding their falling out, right before Tommy got his record deal. But Yitzhak, contrary to the way Hedwig treated him sometimes, was not an idiot. He could surmise what had happened. He knew. Anybody with a brain and a heart could see what had happened: Tommy was weak: just a silly little boy who didn't realize what he was dealing with.

As Yitzhak nodded off to sleep, the words and music of the Rent soundtrack both soothed him and made him ache…

_Live in my house  
I'll be your shelter  
Just pay me back  
With one thousand kisses  
Be my lover  
And I'll cover you_

He sighed in his sleep as his nightly dreams of the sweet love he craved overtook him. Dreams in which he was who he wanted to be: someone beautiful, soft, desired. He touched Hedwig in his dreams, touched her in a way that he never could during waking hours. Touched her in a way that he knew was ultimately impossible, but for his dreams.

* * *

Tommy stood on the corner and stared in dismay at the flyer stapled to the telephone pole. He felt a panic attack coming on.

_Hedwig and the Angry Inch: Metro Cafe Saturday and Sunday 8pm_

_Here?_ Tommy thought, not wanting to believe his eyes. _In my home town? No...don't do this to me, Hedwig,_ he thought angrily, knowing full well that he deserved everything he got, everything he had coming to him. _Karma is a bitch._ He groaned inwardly as he nervously tore the flyer down and crumpled it up.

"Hey," a hesitant voice said from behind him. He turned to see Megan. He smiled at her, dropping the paper onto the ground. _Oh, Megan,_ Tommy thought sadly. _If you only really knew what I am, you wouldn't be standing here talking to me. Please don't stop loving me..._

Megan grinned shyly at him and nodded toward the paper he had tossed onto the ground. "Never knew you to be a litterbug, Tommy. You really have let fame go to your head. This from the boy who spent a whole weekend with me Freshman year at the Eco drive, cleaning up empty bottles and candy wrappers in the park?" Tommy laughed, glad she hadn't asked about the flyer. He nudged her with his shoulder as they made their way down Washington Street, one of the very streets they used to walk down together all the time.

"I remember that weekend. You were reciting that poem you composed in my honor," he laughed. Megan groaned as they walked past the waterfront. It was cool for a summer day and clouds were gathering above.

"Oh, Geez, thanks for bringing that up. I was pretty drunk you know: Father Scales would have freaked if he knew that wasn't just Kool-aid we were drinking. Jesus, that poem: how embarrassing...how did it go again?" Megan said, feeling herself blush, but laughing along with him.

Tommy turned to her and leaned close to her ear, breathing into it. "Violets are blue, roses are red, I want to make out..with you in your bed..." Megan stared back at him, her face falling.

"Oh, my God," she choked out, as he pulled her to him, laughing delightedly at her as she hid her face against his chest, muffling her words. "I did write that shit, didn't I? What a freaking idiot I was..." Tommy reached for her face, gazing into her eyes. He shook his head, smiling at her, his eyes twinkling. _This is it_, she though wildly as he leaned closer to her. _Is this going to happen now, or..._

Her thoughts were cut off by Tommy's lips crashing down onto hers.

Megan felt as if a dam had broken, felt as if a million angels were singing in unison, felt as if she had been submerged in a warm bath of liquid sunshine, even as the rain began to fall on the two of them.

"Tommy," she gasped, "Do you even know what you're doing?" she said in between his kisses, which were now travelling over her neck, his teeth gently biting her, making her moan.

"I'm kissing your neck," he murmured into her hair. She groaned as he pushed her up against the steel fence that surrounded the river. "Just let me, Ok? Just shut up and enjoy it...we'll figure it out later, Meg. Just let me love you..."

_To hell with it_, Megan thought recklessly, _to fucking hell with it_, as she began to kiss Tommy back passionately.

Neither one noticed a tall blonde figure in the doorway of the building across the street, watching them from underneath a pink umbrella and a pair of dark sunglasses.


	3. Chapter 3

Yitzhak and the rest of the band looked up as Hedwig entered the hotel room. Everybody was sprawled on the bed and the floor eating pizza. Hedwig slammed the door and strode over to the dresser, grabbing the bottle of vodka and unscrewing the cap. As she took a long drink, Yitzhak and Jacek glanced at each other apprehensively. Phillis, who was on the phone, looked up alarmed and quickly said goodbye, hanging up and moving over to Hedwig.

"What's the matter, Hedwig?" Phillis said quietly. "What happened?" Hedwig glared at her as she went over and sank onto the bed next to Yitzhak.

"I saw him. I saw the fucker. Making out with some little townie over by the waterfront." Yitzhak rolled his eyes and got up, walking over to the door, kicking one of Hedwig's shoeboxes out of the way as hard as he could. Phillis and the rest of the band gasped. Hedwig looked at him in amazement.

"What in the fuck is your problem, Yitzhak? If you don't like those shoes, why don't you just say so?" Yitzhak paused with his hand on the doorknob and shook his head, chuckling bitterly. He turned to Hedwig. The room was silent as everybody waited.

"My problem? I think you should ask yourself that question, Hedwig, no?" Yitzhak spat out. "I'm tired of stalking Tommy fucking Gnosis. That's all this has turned into. When is the last time you have written a song? When? You are stuck, stuck in a place that none of us can reach you in…so fuck you, Miss Hedwig. Fuck you, I'm sick of helping you to destroy your life. It's time to move on. It's not money you want anyway, if it was I could understand. It's revenge."

Hedwig gazed at Yitzhak with tears in her eyes, all the fight gone out of her. For the moment, in any case. Yitzhak sighed, feeling his own rage draining away. _Why must she look at me like that: just when I'm ready to leave her, kill her even, she has to look at me with those eyes, _Yitzhak thought to himself as he felt his body moving of it's own will back towards Hedwig. He sat down next to her and she let him take her hand in his. The rest of the band also moved closer to her, Phillis kneeling at her feet.

"Hedwig," Jacek said cautiously, "What about that little tune we were jamming to this morning? The hit?" Hedwig smiled at him reluctantly. "Let's work on it." Phillis winked at him and the rest of the band murmured their agreement.

"Well," Hedwig said modestly, "I do have some lyrics…floating around in my head."

Yitzhak smiled slightly. "That's my girl. You are an artist: show them. Show everyone what you can do. Nobody can take the best from you, it is still inside of you, your heart, and your head." He leaned to kiss her softly as the rest of the band got up to grab their instruments.

But deep down Yitzhak knew, even as he watched Hedwig smiling and joking with the band as they jammed, that it would never be over. She wanted that piece of her heart back. How could anyone explain to her that it was gone forever? Yitzhak, of all people, knew what that was like...

* * *

"You always were a lightweight," Tommy giggled as he watched Megan bravely finish her fourth rum and coke. He took the glass away from her and put it on the bedside table next to his own. She scowled at him, knowing that he was right, and rubbed her nose which was beginning to feel numb. "I always loved your nose," he added softly, reaching to touch it with the tip of her finger. "It's so small and cute. Those little tiny freckles drive me crazy."

"I am not a lightweight," she replied thickly, slapping his hand away, embarrassed. The two were sprawled on Tommy's untidy bed in his apartment, Megan blissfully fending off Tommy's advances, trying to contain the feeling of euphoria that had settled in her heart. Tommy smiled at her and moved closer, pulling her to him. She sighed and closed her eyes as he wrapped his arms around her. _Oh my God, but he feels good_, Megan thought to herself dreamily, still not convinced that this was real. It felt like the old Tommy: showered and make-up free, the only trace of Gnosis left was the black nail-polish on his fingernails. He stroked her hair gently. Megan sighed deeply. She had always been happiest when she was in Tommy's arms.

Earlier that day, Megan had experienced some of Tommy's fan-girls for the first time when they had been accosted on Washington Street. Three girls who had looked no older than twelve had started screaming and pointing at Tommy. One of them had actually been crying tears. Megan had been baffled, had just stood there, thinking, _Geez. They don't even know him_. Tommy had smirked at her apologetically as he quickly signed some autographs for the girls before he and Megan took off back to his place. "I guess someone leaked it that I'm home," he had said to Megan as they left the star-struck tweens behind them.

Now, as they quietly listened to each other breathing, Megan found her thoughts drifting, unbidden, to that horrible, beautiful feeling of hope that had never really died. Not really. It was still there.

"Tommy?" she whispered, shivering as his fingers stroked the back of her neck. His lips found her ear and he breathed into it.

"Yes, baby, what is it?" he murmured.

"Do you know I didn't go to State?" she said quietly. "I never told you, but…"

Tommy sat up, startled. "What do you mean you didn't go to State? You haven't been in college all this time? But your mom said…"

Megan sat up, sighing and shook her head. "No…no, I was at college. I just…wasn't at State." Tommy stared at her, confused.

"Well, what school do you go to?" he said curiously.

Megan avoided his eyes, suddenly embarrassed, and stammered, "Uh…I go to TAA." Tommy gaped at her, clearly shocked. Megan blushed and bit her bottom lip. "You…you know, the Theatre Arts Academy in…"

"In New York!" Tommy yelped in surprise. "You've been in New York all this time? I was living there for most of the year, when I wasn't on tour! What the fuck, Megan, how come you never told me?" Megan stared at him with a mixture of amusement and frustration.

"Well, Jesus, Tommy what the fuck was I supposed to do, call your agent? Send you fan mail, care of MTV? I couldn't have gotten in touch with you if I'd wanted to," Megan said, exasperated. Tommy sighed and moved back over to her, leaning to kiss her lips gently. She closed her eyes, never wanting the kiss to end. But it did and when she opened her eyes again, Tommy was looking at her so sadly.

"And would you have wanted to?" he asked hesitantly. Megan shook her head and rolled her eyes.

"Tommy, do you really have to ask?" she mumbled. And as Tommy pulled her to him roughly, it was as if the heat of their bodies transcended all the pain, all the loneliness that Megan had felt over the last few years.

"You got in. You've wanted to go there since you were twelve years old," Tommy said quietly. "That school's fucking expensive," he added as he looked at her curiously. "How did you…" Megan blushed and looked away. "No. You got a free ride. You went on scholarship, didn't you, you lucky shit," he said, grinning at her. "Good for you, Meg. I'm not surprised."

Megan snorted with laughter. "Oh, yes, I'm a very lucky girl, says the rock star who has a record deal and is on MTV every two seconds. You're an idiot." Tommy stared at her before bursting into giggles.

"Anyway," Megan said, embarrassed. "It's not like I was at the head of the class. When I tried out for the TAA production of A Midsummer Night's Dream, they cast me as a fairy." Tommy smiled at her.

"I wish I could have seen you in it. I'll bet you were great," he said softly.

Megan laughed sarcastically. "Oh, yes I was amazing. I had one line, and I almost forgot it." Tommy gazed at her and Megan stopped laughing. She glanced away as if it hurt to look at him. Tommy reached for her again and pulled her close.

"Megan, I love you so much," Tommy murmured as he held her. Megan closed her eyes and tried to hold back her tears.

"Tommy…fuck you," she said, her voice breaking, her tears beginning to fall. Tommy kissed them away.

"I tell you I love you and you tell me to fuck myself," he said, chuckling, wiping her tears away gently. "Thanks a lot." Megan giggled through her tears, despite herself.

"Well, I'm sorry, but you don't love me. You shouldn't say that shit, Tommy. You know you shouldn't," Megan said, closing her eyes as Tommy deftly slipped his hands between her legs. She moaned softly as he did.

"You're wrong, Meg," he breathed into her ear as she felt her whole body begin to melt like a popsicle in the sun. "I do love you, I really do. Don't tell me how I feel. I love you more than anything," he said fiercely.

"Oh, geez, Tommy," Megan gasped as he unbuttoned her jeans and began sliding his hand inside. "There's just no way that's correct." He firmly pulled her closer to him as he continued to touch her, murmur in her ear how much he had missed her.

And even though Tommy had to admit that he was enjoying himself greatly, still, he couldn't help thinking: _if only I can keep her occupied up here in my apartment until Hedwig finishes her shows this weekend._ For some strange reason beyond his comprehension, the possibility of the whole world knowing he was a fraud didn't seem as bad to him as Meg finding out.

He buried the thought as he continued to kiss and touch her, smiling at how she melted into his arms. _Does she really love me after all these years?_ He sighed. It was just so nice...so normal to be with her. He could forget everything.

Almost.


	4. Chapter 4

"So, how's Tommy?" Cathy said slyly to Megan. Megan blushed and rolled her eyes.

"Same old Tommy, Mom. He really hasn't changed all that much." Megan and her mother were sitting in their favorite bagel shop, having their weekly lunch date together. Megan had to admit that her mother was not just a mom, she was a friend. Although Cathy never hesitated to practice "tough love" (Megan still remembered the week during her freshman year that she had been grounded and her mom had taken her bedroom door off of the hinges until she finished all the back homework assignments she owed and cleaned her room from top to bottom) still: she was always Megan's greatest cheerleader. Megan knew she wouldn't have gotten into TAA unless her mom had encouraged her so much.

She smiled as she remembered receiving the acceptance letter which had also stated that she had won the Freshman Scholarship. She had been terrified to open it. But it had happened. Both Cathy and Megan had held each other, sobbing, after reading it. It was one of those moments she would always remember. It was one of the few times in her life when she felt that the sun had been shining on her.

_Like with Tommy._ Megan sighed as she took a bite of her bagel, barely tasting it. Tommy always had an effect on her appetite: she just wasn't hungry when she was thinking of him. It was as if the butterflies in her stomach made it impossible for her to eat.

* * *

As Hedwig waited in line with Phillis for the coffees and bagels, she happened to glance at the two women sitting at the table by the door. The window they were sitting in front of cast a light on the two of them: they both looked happy, obviously mother and daughter out having lunch together, chatting about girly things. Hedwig's face darkened as she thought of her own mother. She had always trusted her, and look what had happened. Hedwig grew cold as she remembered the terror she had felt when her mother had agreed with Luther about the operation. Oh, why, why couldn't her mother have protected her, kept her safe a little bit longer, then maybe none of this would have happened.

As Phillis paid for the drinks and food and Hedwig continued to stare at the mother and daughter pair, something clicked in her and the daughter looked awfully familiar to her. _It's her,_ Hedwig thought with a start. _That little girl who was pawing all over Tommy yesterday by the river. _As Phillis handed a tray of the hot coffees to Hedwig to carry, Hedwig, without thinking, took them and stalked up to the girl's table. Phillis narrowed her eyes suspiciously as she saw the black look in Hedwig's eyes, noticing her body had become tense all of a sudden. "Hedwig…" she murmured as Hedwig approached the two women sitting by the window.

* * *

"My, but what a lovely handbag you have," the tall blonde woman in the hot pink leather dress said, motioning to Megan's purse which was sitting on the table next to her plate. Megan and Cathy looked up at her, surprised, wondering who she was.

"Do we know you?" Cathy said tightly, not liking the tone of her voice. The woman laughed.

"Oh, you probably have heard of me, but I don't like to drop names…so uncouth. I just wanted to admire your purse and…oops!" The woman suddenly dropped the whole tray of hot coffees right onto Megan's lap. Megan leaped up from her chair, yelping in pain.

"Hey, what the hell do you think you're doing, you crazy…" Megan's mother gasped and jumped up with her daughter, trying to wipe the coffee off of Megan, her daughter's legs beneath her short skirt already bright red and blistering.

"You fucking burned me, you idiot!" Megan said, tears stinging her eyes. The manager and one of the waitresses quickly approached the table, already with ice packs for Megan's legs. One elderly couple who had been drinking coffee at another table also ran over to help.

"Who did this?" the manager angrily said, leading Megan to a chair and attempting to inspect the burns. "Did you know who it was?" she said angrily. But when Megan looked up to point to the blonde woman who had done it, all she saw was the restaurant door banging shut. The woman was gone.

* * *

"Hedwig, how could you?" Phillis hissed as the two strode down the street, Phillis practically running to keep up with Hedwig's long legs. "That poor girl! What were you trying to do, give her third degree burns? Do you realize that you could be arrested for assault? I cannot continue to work for you if you behave like an…an animal!" Hedwig turned on her furiously.

"Oh, is that what I am, now Phillis? An _animal_?" Hedwig spat at her. Phillis sighed.

"I'm sorry. That was a poor choice of words. But you _must_ behave yourself, Hedwig. Harassing Tommy's friends is not wise! You must understand this! You don't want to call negative attention to yourself, you _must play the victim!_" Phillis said pleadingly as they approached the hotel entrance.

"Phillis, I _am_ the victim here, in case you have not noticed. That little whore had it coming to her. I hope I burned her as much as I've been burned by her little sissy boyfriend." Phillis threw her arms up in frustration as the two walked into the hotel lobby.


	5. Chapter 5

Yitzhak lovingly caressed Hedwig's face, gazing down upon her as she slept. He loved just looking at her, when she was at peace, her face free of worry-lines, she looked like a child. He sighed and lay back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. He knew it would never be between them. Yes, they were technically married. But he knew, and so did everyone else, that it was a mere formality, just a marriage of convenience. He had known going into it, but it still hurt to think of it that way, he still liked to imagine them as married, truly joined as one.

Now, as Yitzhak tried to relax after the night's performance, which he had to admit had been spectacular, he wondered if Hedwig would get her wish this weekend: there was one more show and time was growing short. He knew she wanted nothing more than to meet up with Tommy, to be seen with him, to out him as the fraud that he was. Part of Yitzhak wanted her to get her wish, but another part of him wanted her to hurt. Hurt as he did every time she spoke Tommy's name.

He clenched his fists beneath the covers. _She will never love me,_ he thought bleakly_. It will always be him. Always. _

He had been disgusted when he had learned what had happened earlier that day, the way Hedwig had basically assaulted the little girl who she had seen Tommy with. Yitzhak sometimes felt that Hedwig would always be a 15 year old boy trapped in a woman's body. She acted so foolishly sometimes, like a child. Imagine pouring scalding hot coffee on a stranger. It was anything but sane behavior.

"She had it coming!" Hedwig had stated haughtily before the show. "I hope she shows up here tonight: I'll do it again, and gladly." The band had gazed at her soberly, all thinking the same thing: how Hedwig was fast approaching the edge, the point of no return. Hedwig was losing touch with reality.

Yitzhak and Jacek had discussed it in undertones earlier before Hedwig had arrived at the club. "She is slipping," Jacek had said sadly. "And it shows. She has been ill, that cough she has is not getting better because she refuses to take care of herself. I wish she could see what it's doing to her." Yitzhak had nodded in agreement.

"Yes. It's true. I wish…" he had trailed off sadly. Jacek had placed his hand sympathetically on Yitzhak's shoulder and looked him in the eyes wordlessly. Is _it that obvious?_ Yitzhak thought, embarrassed. Jacek had been looking at him so sadly, so knowingly, that he felt ashamed.

"You know, Yitzhak," Jacek had said quietly, "That you need to do what is best for you. Perhaps this isn't it. Perhaps you need to follow your own dreams. For what you wish _is_ within your reach." The two had stared at each other for a long time before Yitzhak nodded.

Now as he lay next to Hedwig's sleeping form, he wondered what it would be like to be on his own, to meet new people, to follow his own dreams. He had always wished to be a performer, wished to walk in the sun, to be pretty, beautiful, desired. Why should he wait until he got any older? He was an accomplished performer: he knew he could get cast in a real show. He just had to let go...and as he stared at Hedwig, he wondered if he could ever do it, if he could ever really let go of her and what she was to him.

* * *

"How did it happen? Is Meg ok?" Tommy demanded. He was in Megan's kitchen with her mother, who was sitting at the table drinking coffee.

"She's ok, Tommy. She's sleeping right now in her room. Why don't you sit down and have a coffee with me?" Tommy sighed and sat down, unable to stop glancing up the stairs towards Megan's room. He accepted the coffee that Cathy poured him and sipped it nervously.

"We just got back from the emergency room a couple of hours ago: they gave her some lotion for the burns and some medication for the pain." Cathy smiled at him as he started to relax. "I think that's what knocked her out." Tommy nodded and sipped his coffee again.

"Wow, how stupid can you be, to dump a whole tray of hot coffees on someone? Damn." Tommy said. Cathy shook her head, exasperated.

"It was the strangest thing. Some woman, some blond woman in sunglasses, looked like a drag queen, for God's sake, came up to us and…." Tommy didn't hear anything else after that, only felt a bolt of panic shoot through his whole body, followed by a rush of rage. _Hedwig_, he thought angrily. _That bitch…_

"Cathy, can I go up and see her? Please? I won't wake her up, I just want to see her." Tommy looked at Cathy pleadingly, already standing up. Cathy must have mistaken his panic for concern because she smiled at him and nodded.

"Yes, Tommy, that would be fine. I'm going to lie down myself. Why don't you stick around for dinner. I know Meg would love to have you and I would too. We're both glad that you're safe, and that you're home at least for awhile." Tommy smiled weakly at her before mumbling his thanks and quickly racing up the stairs.

When he got to Megan's room he slowly opened the door. He sighed when he saw her lying there on her bed, and smiled. She still slept the same way, curled on her side, her fingers unconsciously tugging a lock of her hair. He walked over to the bed and knelt beside it. He leaned over and kissed her. She moaned softly in her sleep and shifted. Tommy reached to touch her cheek softly. Slowly, she opened her eyes and stared at him. After a moment, she spoke, yawning at the same time.

"Hey. What are you doing here?" she mumbled, trying to sit up. Tommy gently pushed her back down again.

"No, don't get up, stay," he said, sliding onto the bed next to her, pulling her to him. As his legs touched hers under the blanket, she winced and pulled away slightly. "You got burned pretty bad your mom said, huh?" he whispered, his voice shaking slightly, still angry and frustrated. Megan nodded.

"Yeah, some crazy tranny at the bagel shop just…dumped a bunch of hot coffees on me and took off," Megan said, bewildered. Tommy leaned to kiss her forehead. "It seemed to me like it was on purpose. But I don't know. I never saw her before in my life. I wonder what her problem was. Maybe she escaped from the local insane asylum. Who knows." Tommy grinned in spite of himself.

"Maybe," he said. "Anyway, I'm so sorry that happened. Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?" Tommy added, leaning to kiss her lips gently. Megan breathed into the kiss.

"Well…that'll do for a start," she gasped as she began to return his kisses enthusiastically. Tommy laughed and leaned to bite her neck. She giggled and the two slipped back into a carefree world of bliss as Hedwig was forgotten.

For the moment.


	6. Chapter 6

As Megan hurried home from the library, she pulled her black hoodie more tightly around herself. Damn, but it was cold for a summer night. Dismal and rainy. That was New England for you, though. The most fucked up weather in the entire country. As she passed by the Metro café, she heard loud music coming from inside and the song sounded familiar. She paused outside the door curiously. The doorman smiled at her.

"Ten bucks, sweetie. Just one ticket?" he asked. "All ages show." Megan started to shake her head and then on impulse nodded and pulled out a ten from her back pocket. He took her money and held open the door for her. Megan stepped into the café and the first thing she noticed was the woman (if you could call her that) who had poured hot coffee onto her the morning before was the one onstage. Megan narrowed her eyes as she made her way to the bar to order a drink.

_Well, well_, Megan though as she took a seat at the bar next to two kids who had multi-colored hair and so many face piercings that they looked like pincushions, _if it isn't the tranny who put me in the emergency room._ She stared up at the stage. She tried to place the lyrics to the song that the band was playing. Megan grinned in spite of herself as she watched the band perform. One of the guitarists, she had to admit, was adorable. And the main chick/guy, whatever the hell she was, really knew how to work the stage. _That_ _psycho really knows how to move_, Megan thought grudgingly. She didn't think she had ever seen a band quite like this.

The guy who was singing back-up lyrics launched into a fierce monologue, something about the Berlin wall. He was awesome. Megan smirked as the blonde chick danced around him seductively as he spoke, and then almost laughed as he checked her with his shoulder, hard, shoving her away. The looks, the eye-rolls from the girl, (she guessed Hedwig was her name, that's what the long-haired dude singing back-up kept calling her) were so amusing Megan could almost forgive her for the leg-burns which had all but faded. Before Megan knew it she had finished her drink and watched three more songs in the set.

But when Hedwig and the band (_The Angry Inch?_ Megan thought, bewildered. _What the fuck kind of name was that for a band? Weird._) began to sing Wicked Little Town, Megan felt cold all over. She knew that song. That was one of Tommy's songs. Her favorite song, the song she used to listen to at night, while lying in bed, the song that always made her cry, the song that hurt her to her core. But here was this crazy band, (a band Megan had to admit was amazing) singing it as if it were their own. _A band like this doing a cover of a Tommy Gnosis song?_ It didn't sit well with Megan. Something made her feel numb all over, and she remembered the look on Tommy's face when she had asked him about the songwriting.

Stricken, Megan slipped out of the bar before anyone from the band could notice her. She was suddenly scared. One part of her wanted to talk to Tommy right away, but the other part of her wanted to be alone. She wanted to figure this out. _Hedwig and the Angry Inch_. She had some thinking to do. Not to mention some research.

If Megan had stayed only ten minutes longer, she would have gotten much of that research accomplished, as Hedwig began her rant and rave about Tommy Gnosis, complete with her slide show on the wall.

* * *

"Calm down, Yitzhak! I can't understand what you're saying, just slow down, honey," Phillis pleaded. Yitzhak was in tears, he had just burst into the hotel room and was babbling something about a car accident.

"It's Hedwig," he sobbed, "She's been in an accident! We must go to the hospital at once!" Just then, Phillis' phone rang. She held up her hand as Jacek put his arm around Yitzhak and led him to the bed, helping him sit down.

The band was silent, but for Yitzhak's heavy breathing, as they listened to Phillis on the phone. "Hedwig, are you alright?" she demanded into the phone. "Yes, dear…yes, dear…" suddenly Phillis smiled and covered the phone with one hand. "She's fine," she told everyone. "Better than fine: she was arrested for a DUI, and Tommy was in the car with her." Everyone gasped and grinned, except for Jacek and Yitzhak. Yitzhak's face fell, and Jacek patted his back sympathetically. "Alright, Hedwig, I'll be right there, sweetheart: this is great news: didn't I tell you it would happen?" Phillis crowed into the phone. "See you soon, baby!"

As Phillis grabbed her purse and rushed out of the room, the band following behind her, but Jacek and Yitzhak lingered, still sitting on the edge of the bed. Phillis turned to them.

"Aren't you two coming? This is historic, for Christ sake!" Jacek frowned and shook his head. Phillis paused.

"Yitzhak, honey, are you alright? Hedwig is fine, better than fine, we're all going to be rich!" she said, dashing over and kneeling next to Yitzhak, taking his face in her hands and planting a big kiss on his forehead. Yitzhak tried to smile. Phillis laughed. "Ok, hold down the fort, we'll be back soon!"

After the door closed behind Phillis, Jacek looked at Yitzhak and said quietly, "You know things are going to change now, Yitzhak." Yitzhak nodded.

"Yes," he whispered. "I know."

"Yitzhak," Jacek said hesitantly, "I took this off the wall of the café for you." He handed Yitzhak a piece of paper. Yitzhak took it from him. Auditions for a Broadway tour of Rent_. _

"You think they would cast me?" Yitzhak said to him, tears in his eyes. Jacek smiled.

"I know if they did not, they would be very foolish. Why not go, Yitzhak? What do you have to lose?" he said encouragingly.

Yitzhak nodded slowly. "Will you…will you go with me?" he asked hesitantly.

Jacek smirked. "Of course, my friend. Now let's figure out which one of Hedwig's wigs you are going to borrow for the audition."

For the first time in months, Yitzhak smiled a real smile.


End file.
